The Path to NZ (We are here!)

hello hello...I must apologize for suddenly going MIA by making my blog private bcos I think my blog privacy may have been infringed..lol! But after thinking thru things, oh well...I have nothing to hide from anybody, pry if they must.

so we have been in Auckland for slightly more than a month now. The little missy have been settling in well. In fact when people ask me how am I doing in NZ and how is she doing. I would tell them she is adapting and settling herself in nz better than me ..lol

she loooves it here..although I am not sure why since shes stuck with me at home most days anyway..LOL. but its her first day of school today (hence the free time to blog). if you ask her whether she wants to go back to penang..she will say she wants to stay in new Zealand..lol

ok the stupid iPhone app for blogger cant seem to allow me to upload photos..till I find a better solution..i will blog again...haha. aint nobody got no time to slowly upload photo to pc and blog la!

The Path to NZ (The Interview)

So on the 20th April 2016, we had our interview with our CO (case officer). She said she would call us up at 11am Shanghai time, and also asked for the hb to be present. I read from some other people in the forum that not all secondary applicants were required for the interview.

The 2 of us waited at home with a pounding heart at 10:30am...11am came...no phone call...11:05 came and still no phone call. And i was like shit! dont tell me she forgot. At around 11:08, the phone rang. Had to let it ring a few rings first before i pick up, didnt want to look too desperate. LOL

So we got a "no-nonsense" CO. The interview was of a standard structure...she explained that she will ask me a few personal questions to identify myself :

1. what's your birth date?
2. what's your place of birth?
3. what's the name of your degree and from where?
4. What's your company name?
5. What's your current job position?

After those few questions in rapid succession, she then went on to the actual interview questions. She just wanted answers to the questions she asked, and nothing more. And everything i say, i can hear her typing in the background. It was quite unnerving when you have an interviewer like that, cos you couldnt even gauge whether you did well or not

The questions were...

1.       How soon do you see yourself in NZ?

2.       What kind of job field do you want to work in?

3.       What’s the salary scale for this job in NZ?

4.       What kind of salary are you expecting?

5.       If you were offered a lower salary, what would you do?

6.       Have you tried applying any jobs in NZ?

7.       How did you apply?

8.       Have you heard from them?

9.       How many have you applied?

10.   Have you contacted any recruitment agencies?

11.   Do you have any preference for any company that you might want to work with in NZ?

12.   Would you prefer full time or part time jobs?

13.   Do you have any friends or family in NZ?

14.   What kind of support can your friends/or family provide while you are there?

15.   What kind of difficulties do you foresee in your job search?

16.   What kind of difficulties do you foresee in your stay in NZ?

17.   What’s your long term plan for your career in NZ?

18.   Do you have any idea of where do you want to stay in NZ?

19.   Have you looked at house rental in NZ? How much?

20.   How much money do you think you need for expenses?

21.   What do you know about NZ healthcare?

22.   Have you been to NZ?

23.   When was your trip to NZ?

24.   Was it for leisure?

25.   Where did you go?

26.   What’s the reason for choosing NZ?

27.   Have you tried to apply to any other country?

After that, she asked for the hb and he was asked 3 questions:

1.       Do you intend to work in NZ?

2.       What field are you currently in and what do field do you intend to work in in NZ

3.       Have you looked at schools?

dThen she asked for me again and that was it. She said she will get back to us within 4 weeks...it has been around 1 week plus and the wait is nerve wrecking~~!!!

Things she says - part 2

My poor little girl has been sick whole weekend. Down with fever since Friday night. So there goes the weekend for everyone. What's more worrying is, her temperature kept going up and down hovering between 38 to 39 on Friday- Sunday morning.

Only during Sunday afternoon, her temp at least went down below 38 and seems to be stabilising there *keepig fingers crossed*

But she still seem pretty active all weekend. And during the weekend she picked up the habit of asking questions. A bit annoying when she keep repeating but cute at the same time. Lol

Like just now I was showing the hb a video of a zombie video game and she also wanted to see...

Me : baby don't want this. It's too scary for baby
She : why bb scared, mama?

Awwww. So cute the way she ask it 😊

Things She Says

Ok. Going to start a new series. Like any proud mother (I think?) I m always gushing about what she said and what antics she was up to mostly to my sisters and family and to any friends who are interested to hear (I'm not that annoying a mother lah!)

So I figured why not type it in my faithful old blog so that I can read back when she is grown up and refuse to talk me (I hope not)

Convo # 1:

(There's this nursery rhyme that goes "ding dong bell, pussy in the well")

She : ding dong bell!! Pussy catttt!!!

Convo # 2:

We were at mcds. She was holding a sundae cone while trying to eat fries off our tray. So she put her cone on the table n took one fries each in both hands and she stuffed one fry into her mouth n tried to precariously pick the cone off the table with the other fry still in her other hand

Me : use 2 hands
She : (mumbled something which I couldn't make out at first and still trying to get the cone)
Me : *repeated* use 2 hands
She : wait first (and proceeded to stuff the other fry into her mouth)
Me : 😐

Convo # 3:
In the car at night. I was sitting at the backseat with her and replying messages on my phone

She : arghh!!! My eyes spoil!!!

Referring to my phone being too bright 😒

Convo # 4:

While bathing her I always name out the parts I am washing. Lol! So the other day when I was bathing her she suddenly went

"I like butt butt"
"I like armpit"

Lol!!! Don't know whether I should treat her proclamation of love for her body parts with respect or laugh

Convo # 5:

Now when we close our eyes to sleep ..

Her : mama's eyes!!! Where are youuuuuu!!!

LMAO!

Convo # 6:

She can't differentiate between the usage of "you" and "baby". So normally she will go like..

"'Mama help you Pom Pom" (she's referring to herself)

So I always try to correct her by saying "baby not you"

So now it became

"Mama help baby you Pom Pom"

😅

The Path to NZ (NZQA IQA- the whole shitty process-CO interview)

Hello, it has been nearly 4 months since my last update on our NZ Resident Visa application. This is our application time line so far.

27/10 - EOI submitted
28/10 - EOI Selected
16/11 - ITA Issued
11/12 - ITA sent to Shanghai
14/12 - ITA Lodgement
11/01 - IQA requested and other information
20/01 - IQA request submitted
22/01 - IQA documents sent over
26/01 - IQA documents received (File set up)
03/02 - IQA request for extra documents
22/02 - Extra documents sent to Shanghai
29/02 - Extra documents sent to NZQA
30/03 - NZQA assignment and evaluation
01/04 - NZQA complete and couriered
20/04 - CO interview

Meaning those in bold red is what have happened since my last post. Phew! Seems like a long list. In a nutshell, on the 11th of January, our CO requested for 3 things
The 3 things are :

1. further proof of partnership dating more than 12 months. apparently its not enough for me to just send our marriage cert ( of 3 years) and a child's birth cert :( 
2. a letter from our study of institution (Inti College Sarawak) proving that our course was done entirely in english as medium of instruction
3. this was the biggest blow...IQA was requested for both our degrees! 

When i received this email from the CO, i was a bit disappointed. Proof of partnership i can dig out all letters and what -nots with both our names addressed to the same address in the past 18 months la. Letter proving that English was the medium of instruction was a little tricky to say the least. Cos for one, INTI COLLEGE SARAWAK DOESNT EXIST ANYMORE!

So i called up the old number of INTI College Sarawak and the guy picking up asked me to call INTI College Nilai since they are the ones who are taking care of our enrolment records now. Got in touch with a lady from the admissions office and she got me the letter pretty fast (in 2 weeks time) although i had to convince her i was from INTI College Sarawak and all that. 

Truth be told, I tried to get a "shortcut" around getting an IQA for our degrees. IQA costs NZD746 per person to apply! That's a lot of money ok. Since our degree was a 3+0 Degree programme with our degree awarded by an Australian University, I was referred to INTI College Subang who takes care of this 3+0 Degree Programme now since our previous college is no more. Wah this is where the complication starts.

Anyway long story cut short, we still had to get an IQA lah. Cos NZ Immig only accepts an official IQA (International Qualifications Assessment) as proof that our degree is "comparable" to a bachelor's degree of computer science obtained in NZ. How is it possible leh!!! (we asked) Our Degree from AUSTRALIAN university boh! Australia and NZ so near leh! And our university was actually in the list of universities exempted from IQA in the NZ Immig website. 

Anyway, I posted a few questions in the enz forum and snooped around and found that they have recently changed the rule that all qualifications obtained off-campus (from the list of universities exempted) must get an IQA regardless (source : http://www.immigration.govt.nz/opsmanual/46247.htm)

So an IQA we applied, and parted with our NZD746 x 2! Sobs!

Submitted on the 26th of January, and we waited and waited and on the 3rd of February, we finally got a reply from NZQA....to ask for extra documents :|

Now they want an official letter from our institution of study (which doesnt exist anymore, refer above) stating that we had credits transferred from INTI College to the awarding university. Again the emailing and the phone calls to INTI started. Called up INTI College Subang who is currently taking care of this programme now but the lady told me they do not have our enrolment records. And they need to cross-check with INTI College Nilai :( 

This went on for like 3 weeks until i couldnt stand it anymore and contacted INTI College Nilai directly who gave me my letter within a week! Sent everything to NZQA, and it took them another 1 month to process everything and couriered everything back to us. Quickly contacted our CO in shanghai that we finally have our IQA (yippee!!!!) and she immediately scheduled an interview for us next week! 

Wormy the 20 month old

Wow...cant believe she is nearly 2 years old already! it feels just like yesterday we celebrated her 1st birthday. ok what can she do now...

1. Just recently she started counting 1-2-3....she can actually count till 10 but she will miss out a few numbers here and there. and she will try and try again...it sounds like there's a count drcula in the house (from sesame street)
2. can complete sentences from some of her favourite bedtime stories :
1. daddy pig is very ? SPORTY! his tummy is? BIG! but it is made of pure ? MUSCLE! (from daddy pig gets fit)
2. in the light of the? MOON. a little? EGG! lay on a green? LEAF (the very hungry caterpillar)
3. same goes for some of her nursery rhymes...e.g.
1. the wheels on the bus goes? ROUND ROUND. the horn on the bus goes? PEET PEET PEET
4. can do simple chores like take glasses for daddy, take mummy's bag, get remote control for mummy, put your clothes in dirty bin, throw your dirty diapers :)

The Path to NZ (ITA Lodgement)

Got an email from NZ Immigration Shanghai office a few weeks back that they have received our application and it will take around 2 months to get a CO (Case officer) assigned. What??? 2 months just to get CO assigned???

Oh well, i guess patience is key. More waiting....

Just to keep record, here is our time line for the whole application:

27/10 - EOI submitted
28/10 - EOI Selected
16/11 - ITA Issued
11/12 - ITA sent to Shanghai
14/12 - ITA Lodgement

Some people actually got their PR/WTR (work to residence) like within ONLY 8 months of submission, some ppl had to wait 18 months...so we'll see

The Path to NZ (The first part)

So, few months ago (28th of September to be exact) when the news of the company closure was announced. It was sort of like the final nail to the coffin. We have been tinkering with the idea of migration for a few years now but never had the guts to actually get around to do something.

And how did we end up with NZ? To be honest, there weren't much choices or we are just plain unadventurous! It was mostly between Australia and NZ. Both had its pros and cons. Australia is nearer, and we actually own an Australian degree which gives us some extra points and also Australia is less boring (??). But to maintain an Australia PR, we have to be there every 2 yrs of 5 years, which is a bit rigid.

NZ on the other hand, we did enjoyed ourselves in NZ, love the people there, the scenery, the environment but it's a bit quiet. When we were there 3 years ago, we could even hear crickets chirping at night! Like 8pm at night!

So after much weighing between the 2 options, we decided to go ahead with NZ. The other reason being, in order to gain sufficient points to submit our EOI (Expression of Interest) for the Australian resident visa, we have to sit for IELTS and get a MINIMUM band 8! so NZ it is!

I submitted my EOI on the 27th of October 2015 with a points of 150 (min points for automatic selection is 140), and got my EOI selected on the 28th of October 2015.  The cost of EOI submission at this point of time is NZD510. Then on the 16th of November, i received my ITA (invitation to apply) via email. The ITA is basically the green light for you to start submitting all your relevant documents proving what you have claimed points for in the EOI. This is when the scramble begins.

Luckily, I still keep all my job offer letters and even pay slips! But i also had to write back to my first boss for a letter proving my employment at the company. So boys and girls, very very important, dont burn bridges! Hehe...after that it was the medical check. We did ours at Adventist hospital Penang at the wellness center. It was pretty smooth flowing and pleasant.

Bought bank draft (my first time!) for the ITA submission. We were "unlucky" enough that the ITA fee increased just a week before our submission. FML! It went up from USD2065 to USD2222. BAH! Submitted our ITA on the 11th of December. Not too bad mah...less than a month since we got our ITA. hehe...they actually gave us 4 months. And now keeping fingers crossed and my eyes peeled for status updates on the webpage. Argh!

Will blog more when i get more updates!

Wormy at 16 month and 26 days

Let's see what the little missy has been up to recently:

1. Can "count" up to 4. Well sort of...its like :

Me : One?
missy : TWO!
me : Three?
missy : oh! (four)


SO CUTE! ok bias mom here..lol

2. A-B-C. A is for ? she will say AH PEL, B is for ? BAER and so on. normally until the letter F . F is for "og!" (frog)
3. can recognize her diaper brand..LOL!!! she will tell you its PETPET. if I ask her WHERE do you put petpet? she will reply THE BUTT BUTT. LOL! ok what kind of rubbish am I teaching her
4. ya she appends most words with THE . its like if she's looking for her ball...she will be walking around the house asking "THE ball?". For a while I was wondering why would she say THE  ball. then I realised its probably because I always ask her "where is THE ball?" "where is THE book?" and she thought it needs to come with THE
5. Can recognize most animals now : dog, duck, bear, horse, cow, cat, lion, owl, bird, frog, pig
6. Can point out most parts of her body and also say it out  : nose (nok), eye, ears, teeth, tongue, mouth, head, hair, feet, legs, arms, hands, tummy, shoulder, butt 😁

Fired

Hmm so yeah on this day September the 28th. I was fired. lol. Yeah like for real along with all 400 of my colleagues

Wormy's 14 month (and 17 days) update

Yikes...i dont know why i just cannot commit to posting monthly progress updates. Mostly on dayre now but i know my blog is still going to be a better memory keeper. heeheehee...i just want to document down the words wormy can say at 14 months

1. mama (of course!)
2. papa
3. star (twinkle twinkle little star)
4. dog (her fav)
5. meeww (cat's sound or mao in mandarin)
6. owwwweeeer (flower)
7. bye bye (sometimes dai dai complete with waving)
8. duck
9. bear (just recently, pronounced as baerrrrr)
10. bird
11. koko
12. car
13. book
14. ball
15. no
16. baa baa (baa baa black sheep)
17. mum mum (eat)
18. nen nen (milk)
19. mai (no in hokkien..lol)
20. bik! (complete with the hand sign for "finish". cos the nanny always tell her mum mum "habik")
21. go out (pronounced as one word i.e. goout)
22. don't want (occasionally with an added "i" in front becomes "i don't want")
23. walk (wants to go down and walk)
24. wooooo (shoe)
25. circle (erker)
26. hewooo (hello)
27. pom pom (bath)
28. two 
29. choo choo (train)
30. take

wow ... never realized her vocabulary is expanding fast until i listed it all down

other updates since the previous 10 month update :P

1. she learned to walk unsupported on her actual birthday. 12 month exactly. she walked like around 2 steps. and within the weeks after that she gradually started to walk more steps and finally able to walk quite steadily by 13month :)
2. drinks 6 oz of milk and around 2 solids per day (porridge and oatmeal)
3. she now has 4 teeth on top, and 4 on bottom and another 4 coming out! sorry i dont know the proper name for those teeth...
4. eats a varied diet of fish,meat, veggies, grains (rice, oats, millet), pasta, biscuits, bread, cornflakes and occassionally food off my plate :x
5. when she sees a shower head she will make the "shhh shhh" sound and wave her hands in front of her face..lol! mimicking showering with the shower head
6. last night i was feeding her the white creamy soup at kim gary and she suddenly shouted "nen nen"!!! she thought the white soup was nen nen! omg
7. I used to count the steps (saying 1-2-3) when i am carrying her up or down the staircase, so now whenever we see staircases she will say "two!". LOL
8. she just learned how to nod her head recently. sometimes it is pretty helpful cos at least now we know what she wants. but in some situations it can be a bit hard to interpret what she actually wants. e.g. turns on her favourite app on iphone i.e. pink fong. "which song do you want to listen?" (nod nod head) "WHICH song baby?" (nod more profusely) :D
9. if you brandish her favourite book for her to see and you ask "do you want mama to read you a book?" (nod nod) "come sit on mama's lap" she will clamber over trying to sit on my lap although most of the time she will have one leg on my face or her head in between my legs.wahaha
10. still pretty clingy to us....and still cries when she gets sent to the nanny esp after a long holiday..wahahaa
11. yep still drinking mama's milk although i stopped pumping at work few weeks after she turned a year old. i dont mind direct latching (as much) but i do hate pumping...huhuhu. and i m happier after i stopped, no need to worry about dwindling supplies anymore. it sorts of gets to you after a while. not sure when am i going to stop bf-ing her...

for documentation purposes, some of her meal combination...

pumpkin porridge with shredded fish 

porridge with zucchini and pumpkin cooked in homemade chicken broth and topped with salmon. this was yums!

creamy pasta cooked with cheese and a bit of greek yoghurt

Wormy the 10 month old

Developments so far :

1) able to clap hands, gong Xi gong Xi and do the open and close hand action when you sing twinkle twinkle little star 

2) able to walk quite far with the aid of a box. Few times I caught her trying to stand without support but she still hasn't gained enough confidence to do so I think. 

3) can eat a lot of different types of food now. Even eating cny cookies =/ and now eating 2 solids a day

4) she has been super clingy recently especially since our cny trip back to Kuching where everyone was so excited to see her and tried to carry her. But she didn't let any one carry her at all

5) she now has 8 teeth in total! 4 on top and 4 on bottom! My poor boobies. Lol!

6) while we were in Kuching she was so fascinated by the little poodle at home. She tried to touch her and even let the poodle lick her hands! And when the poodle is far away she will wave for the puppy to come. And she even called out "dog". Which sounded a lot like "duck" but slightly different sounding. Lol 

Here she is totally in awe with the dogs antics: 

7) took her 3rd ever plane ride. still pretty well behaved but compared to the last plane ride when she was around 5 months old, it is becoming more challenging as she can move around. Even went and grab the utensils of the passenger sitting behind us from the gap in between the seats. She was doing pretty well during take off and landing. I tried to alternate between breastfeding her or giving her the pacifier which is totally foreign to her. She treats it like a teether. Lol 

8) now sleeping at pretty regular times at night although not sleeping thru the night yet T_T she sleeps normally between 9:30 to 10 and wakes up around 7 to 7:30. Wakes up once or twice at night. On a good day she only wakes up for feed at 7am. Takes 2 naps in the day

Wormy the 9 month old

1) can stand up assisted with one/both hands

2) can walk assisted while holding on to something 

3) words she can understand : splash, kick, bye bye (oh yea! She learned to wave bye bye. First it was Sth like just showing you her parm like hitler then it evolved to a shooing wave. Now it's a real bye bye! ), sometimes...peekaboo. She will lift both her tiny arms up high. So cute ^_^ 

4) words she can say : just yesterday she said "duck". The nanny told us she said it once there. Then when I told the Hb she repeated after him again ...twice! and of course papa and mama. Mama is when she gets really frustrated and she will shout out real loud =_=

Wormy the 8 month old

Oh dearie me. I have missed 4 monthly milestone posts for wormy. That usually happens for babies who are not first borns cos the mother is too busy with the other siblings. Lol. Oh yes. Happy new year 2015! 

She is now 8 month old!! Another 5 more months and she's going to turn 1! Since I can't really remember at which month she managed to reach which milestone. Let's just summarize what has happened in the past 4 months yea? :x

1. Oh yea. She got chicken pox at the tender age of 6 months :( she got it just few days after turning 6 month old, the half year mark where she reached the eating solids milestone. At first it was just one blister like spot on her forehead. The hb asked me what's that! I said oh that's a pimple. Lol! The night itself, there were few other spots 

But I just refuse to believe it's actually chicken pox cos there was a boy who got it at the nanny's but that was a month ago! So how is it possible that she only show the spots one month on. But chicken pox it is without a doubt. That started our 2 weeks rotational duty to take care of her since she could not go to the nannys. 

The hb will stay home with her in the morning and me the afternoon. After a few days it sort of became fun to spend the day with her. And I sort of felt sad when the 2 weeks was up and we had to send her to the nannys :D she is a fighter though, fighting thru the chicken pox like a trouper! So proud of her :) except for the one night when her temp hit 40 deg and we had to rush her to the paed only to get sent back again. Let me just record it here, the day she got the first chicken pox spot, 8th of November 2014

2. Starting solids. A day before she turned 6 months old, the nanny told me she's going to start cooking porridge for her the next day. The kiasu mom in me immediately went home that day and made a purée of whatever available fruit in the house for her so that I can be the first person to feed her solids. Wahahaa! And of course to take photo. Here she is eating banana purée. Lol! 

3. Conversational skills. Mostly repetitive sounds and baby talk but sometimes she will call "mama" or "papa" and once I even heard her pointing to her picture book with picture of a dog and she went "gie gie". I said "doggie?" She said "yessh" Hahahaha. Coincidental? Perhaps. Cos that was a one off deal. But she does try to communicate with us now although in her own way

4. By her fifth month she was able to smile and laugh a lot. Usually on cue. Lol.  But this was also around the time she started to recognise people and be clingy to us. When she turned five month old, we brought her back to Kuching again and even though she went back barely a month before, this time round she was extremely clingy and cried the minute my mom wanted to carry her at the airport. Lol. When we went for a wedding dinner and put her at my moms place she cried uncontrollably for almost the whole night that we almost had to go home early. When just barely a month before when we put her at my moms place she was ok and slept  and ate well. 

5. She learnt to crawl (belly down at 6 mths, with belly off floor at 7mths) and sit up by herself (7mths) and now pulling herself to a standing position with support (8 mth)

Wormy the 4 month old

Oopps. Just remembered I forgot to do her 4th month milestone blog post. It has been a month full of firsts for her. Let me list it out:

1. Had her inaugural plane ride back to Kuching (on sept 11th!) Lol. Also her first time back in Kuching! I was so so very nervous about bringing her on the plane, but she behaved pretty well. On our flight there she practically slept the whole 2 hours. On our flight back she pooped just when the plane descended. Lol. But other than that it was pretty uneventful except for her short crying bcos she wanted to sleep. So proud of her!

2. She managed to flip all by herself! This happened on 1st of September. Technically she has not reached 4 month then but that's ok. For 2 weeks before that she kept trying and giving up before she actually managed to flip over but on that day she actually flipped effortlessl and when I shouted and whooped she looked at me nonchalantly as if she has been doing it her whole life long

After her first flip, I actually pushed her back so that she will flip again and I can take this photo! Wahahaha

3. Believe it or not she actually called "mama". Ok fine, I never call myself mama (it's mummy) but still just let me feel good to think that her first "word" is mama. It happened one night while we were in Kuching, she woke up crying and suddenly she shouted "mama!!!". That trip is full of firsts! So much so that I felt that she grew up after the trip. Lol

4. She managed to hold her own bottle when drinking milk. This happened only a few days ago. Holding her milk bottle like a pro and kept turning the bottle left and right when drinking. Then let go when she's tired of holding :/

5. She started to smile a lot after the Kuching trip. Not sure why. Up until the 3rd month I was getting a little worried cos she has not been the smiliest of babies. Lol. In fact she always shows her serious face most of the time. But now she will even flash you a smile when you take out the camera. 

Becoming a mother

How do I feel like being a mother so far? For one, definitely my time is not for me alone to use now, there is another tiny human being demanding my time and attention. To be very honest, I didn't cope very well in my first month (maybe even parts of my second month 'x'). Partly I blame the stupid confinement lady. Lol! And partly the hormones and partly the stupid confinement practices AND partly bcos I wasn't able to go out of the house. Lol! I guess it's a little bit of everything.

But i wasn't liking my life as a mother very much then. I get hormonal everytime i see my friends able to do things that normal human beings do like going shopping and EVEN going to work. Yes you can guess things were pretty bad for me to miss work. LOL! I miss dressing up, i miss putting on makeup...sighs, why am i so superficial. And there was a point (first few days in the hospital), where i cried when the baby cried.

I even thought i was having post-natal depression but i guess not?

But towards the final month of my maternity leave, i started to get the hang of it. Although i still feel miserable when i have to wake up and spend the whole day at home with messy hair and urine and poo stained shirt, i feel like i have control of things now. I am fortunate enough that the hb is understanding enough to let me go out with my friends once or twice :P And during those rare occasions, i was like a dog let loose out of the pound. LOL

I love my baby, but i do need my own time too. I think I m not the type to be a stay at home mom. I would go crazy first. We decided to send wormy to the nanny few days before I started work. I imagined this day many many times before I even delivered. I think I would cry. Imagine for the past 10 months or so, I have never been away from her. And now I have to send her away. 

That morning, I kept telling myself "this has to be done, unless I am willing to quit my job" and also that one day I will have to let her go (school, university and so on) and I also kept telling myself how Annoyed I always get when my mom goes all sobby when we are about to leave home. Lol! 

So I did surprisingly well that morning. But also bcos the nanny was half afraid I was going to cry and kept asking me to go. Lol. Put her on the bed and I had to admit I felt so guilty for doing so. Kept thinking to myself "oh nooo my poor baby is going to wake up without me by her side" 

 Tried to get my mind off her and did a few hours shopping at the mall (although I was guilt stricken and bought only her things. Lol). 

Until.....when I met the hb for lunch. And he asked me. "Why don't you call auntie? " I asked "for what??" He said "just to ask how are things?".

I really got so annoyed with him because right after that I could few tears threatening to fall from my eyes. Lol! But I  got things under control in the end. 

At the end of the day, wormy did better than me I suppose. She fed well and slept well the whole day. I guess the nanny also did a good job. 

Wormy the 3 month old

She's exactly 3 month old today. I wouldn't say time flies, because we've been thru a lot the past 3 months to make it feel like a lifetime (lol!) but time does fly when I ignore all that and ponder on how much she has grown in just a span of 3 months. 

What she can do now:

1. Can grab stuff pretty well now. like this red ball. And she can also grab my hair pretty well too! fml!

2. Likes to put her hands into her mouth. She can eat her hand as if its the most delicious thing in the whole wide world

3. She can "talk". boy! can she talk! just realized in the recent days that she can now repeat syllables. For e..g instead of just "argh goo", its now "argh goo goo"
4. Drool a lot! I don't know those are signs of teething or ? I don't know, isn't it a bit too soon for teething?
5.  Can do tummy time really well now. Here she is enjoying her picture book that her clever mama bought even before she was born. So proud of myself :P When are you going to start reading the encyclopedia and become a baby genius? huhuhu...
   
6. She loves to "jump" while being carried
7. Recently going thru a phase where she will cry and cry at night before bedtime. Refuse breastfeeding, refuse bottle feeding. Don't know what she wants really. sighs... and recently she also refuses her daddy just before bedtime. hopefully its not permanent, i need my night out..lol!
8. oh yeah!..she's 5.9kg during her last checkup. That explains my sore arms

Wormy the 2 month old

Ok...since i've seen so many mummy bloggers do this kind of post, i am going to join the bandwagon too.

What she can do :

1. Just few weeks ago, she suddenly started to coo and "talk" in reply when you talk to her. It just happened overnight and caught us by surprise. lol. but it is a very nice development. We enjoy "talking" to her at night after she's back from the nanny's.
2. She smiles more now! Phew! At first i was a little worried it could be because i was angry (with work) most of the time when i was pregnant with her. LOL. ok so she can smile. Her favourite time to smile is in the morning when she just woke up.
3. She can turn her head left and right when placed belly down. Actually she can already do this in the first month which scared us to bits. I got so stressed out looking at her do that, i always had to turn her back to lie on her back
4. She can see colors now! I think. Because we hung this fisher price mobile on her cot since the first month but she was never that interested in it, until a few weeks ago when i placed her in her cot and wound up the mobile. Her eyes practically lit up! and she started smiling like never before! boy!
5. She knows how to ask for milk (in bed). lol. She will do this little action i call the "milk dance". If i am lying next to her, she will first look at me with the cheeky face, then she will start lifting both her legs up high and say URGHHH. That's her asking for milk and it's so cute to see that i will pretend i dont know she wants milk until she does that. lol. the hb always says i like to tempt her =_=" I believe what shes trying to do is to turn her own body so that she's side lying because that's how i breastfeed her in bed. lol
6. If she's had enough milk, she will spit out the milk from her mouth. Most of the time splattering milk on herself and my face =_="

Breastfeeding-How I went from a non-believer to a "seasoned pro"

 

I sincerely hope no one is going to be searching for breastfeeding tips and guidelines and come to this blog, because i am not here to TEACH how to breastfeed. I am here to talk about my personal experience with breastfeeding. To sum it up, i have a love hate relationship with breastfeeding, still do now, almost 3 months down the road.

 

Even right up to my final weeks of pregnancy, i was still very undecided on breastfeeding. I kept asking myself, dont know whether i will have milk or not (none of the child bearing ladies in my family did or had ever attempted breastfeeding). Which is why i asked my sister to buy me an Avent manual pump from London. I was like, IF i really do have milk, i will just use this "cheap" manual pump since i dont know how long i will last. In fact, i never really told myself "yes! i AM going to breastfeed" its more like if i can i will do it, if i can't there's always formula. So we did buy one small tin of formula few weeks before.

Since the hospital I went to is a "breastfeeding friendly hospital", within the first hour of birth, they will put baby with me to suckle and to trigger the milk production. During the 3 day stay in the hospital, the nurses and the lactation consultant will keep coming in to guide me on how to correctly latch and hold baby. In fact since they practise "rooming in", the nursery nurses will always push baby to me when she's crying. So i let her latched without much thought and trepidation.

The hb was so anxious his daughter will be sucking nothing =_= and kept asking the LC whether i have any milk. On the 2nd day, when the LC squeezed, out came a few drops of colostrum. Wowee! I can produce milk! LOL

First few pumps of the liquid gold


It was when we went back home, the challenge began. First mistake, hiring a confinement lady. The very first hour she stepped into the house, "lets make formula for baby lah!! u dont have enough milk lah! baby is hungry!". Before i can say, "let me think about it"..she has already made a bottle of formula for baby. But even so, i was just mildly annoyed at not having have any say to that. I was still open to giving formula to baby which is why i bought the tin of formula in the first place. I was just a bit sad that i will not get to latch baby that night because shes going to sleep with the CL (yes, me the person who is so against direct latching baby. i felt sad). Dont ask me why i did not decide to sleep with baby, thats because i feel terribly awkward with sharing a room with a stranger (CL not baby)

On that night itself, i started to feel really engorged. It was a weird feeling. The CL brought out the avent pump and made me pump. Lo and behold, i can pump milk! omg..what a funny feeling! LOL. my boobs can produce milk. wahahaha...she then, fed baby with a spoon with it. Ok this i have to give credit to her, sometimes she seem like shes pro breastfeeding but sometimes shes not.

I will tell you how she's not, which is also mostly why i fired her after 2 weeks. LOL. I dont know why she do not really like me direct latching the baby. After introducing the bottle to baby, of course she will need some time to adjust back to direct latching. She started crying when i tried to latch her, and she will say things like "aiyoh mummy smelly isit" or "aiyo why u dont want mummy, you very bad!". Sounds pretty harmless, but when you repeatedly hear that combined with the post natal hormonal blues, i got pretty riled up every single time she said that.

When i finish pumping she will say things like "so little only ah???". She kept saying that almost every time i came out with the bottle of milk to keep inside the fridge. Until i got so fed up i refuse to answer her anymore when she said that. She knew i was upset and told me she will cook this shit and that to increase milk. Honestly, i never really think her cooking helped me increase my milk. Sometimes when i can pump more, she will quickly say "see! it's bcos of the soup i cooked". Really, i think it's bcos she kept her mouth shut and that made my mood better, thats why i can sometimes pump more!

Other than that, every time baby makes a big soft poo (which is normal for babies drinking breast milk) she will start her "song". "aiyo baby dont cry la, you drink mummy's milk is like that one loh!!" she said that every single f**king time she makes a big poo and cries. For some reason, i got so wound up hearing her say that i told her off once. But after a few time, she will forget and start to say the same shit again. To me, i do not thikn she is that pro breastfeeding after all.

Maybe its because i got a stupid CL, that got me so determined to continue pumping. But she could also be the reason i wanted to quit in the first month. It got to a point when i was secretly trying to direct latch my baby in my room and trying to shush the baby up if she cries because the minute baby cries she will come into my room =_=

By the second week, the hb bought me the medela swing as "motivation" for me to continue pumping. When i saw the pump, i had mixed feelings. On one hand, i felt happy that i now have an electronic pump, on the other, that means i will have to continue pumping more than a month :x So much so, we got into a fight many times over the topic of whether i should continue breastfeeding. I had to pump every 3 hours even in the middle of the night. So technically, i had to wake up in the middle of the night even though i do not have to take care of baby at night. But weirdly enough, during those days, when i woke up in the middle of the night to rock-as-hard-boobs to pump, baby would more often than not be up and crying for feeds too. I think it was some mojo jumbo mother-baby synching at work.

After we fired the CL, we had to then take care of baby at night. I had to take care of baby day AND night. Which ultimately meant, i will have less time to pump. But for the first 2 weeks after we fired her, my mom and my sister came over and helped out. So they could help me take care of the baby while i pump. But after the 2 weeks was up, i had no time at all to pump! everytime i bring out the pump, the baby will be crying to be carried or fed. And i dragged my pumping session from 3 hours to 4 to 5...and this badly affected my milk supply.

During the worst period, i only managed to pump 1 oz or 2 oz from both sides at one time! I thought ok, i have already exceeded my 1 month mark, i am happy enough. To hell with breastfeeding, i want my boobies back :x But on the other hand, i was thinking "oh noooo i cant provide the best for my baby". Yes i was having a split personality like that, a bit like smeagol.

Also up until now, baby was never FULLY breastfed, I had formula to supplement if i didnt have enough milk in the day but we always made formula for her at night with the opinion that formula is more filling and she can sleep longer and so can we! whee~~

Ironically, this was the time baby refuse to sleep at night. She used to be ok, sleeping throughout the night. only waking up for feeds, etc. For that one week, she will sleep in the evenings, but by the time we bring her to the room at 11pm. her eyes will suddenly open wide and begged to be carried and fed and carried and fed. The cycle goes on until 3am. She will ONLY sleep AFTER 3am for that 1 week! During that 1 week i was like "oh nooooo what have we signed up for!!! i wnat my baby-free life" (wormy, if you ever read this, i do love you very much..lol).

And it all started one friday night when i've had enough! That night, before her bedtime, i tried to direct latch her in bed with both of us lying down. Weirdly, she fell very very soundly asleep and slept the whole night thru!!!! Well, almost...but she only woke up once!!! We 2 discussed and did a post mortem on what we did that night to make her sleep thru the night. LOL. yes we take our sleep very seriously. And we decided it must be the direct latch. So the next night, i tried it again and omaigottt..she slept thru the night again.

By the 3rd or 4th night i was convinced it is not a coincidence and i can now safely say baby loves to direct latch before she sleeps. And when she wakes up in the middle of the night, all i have to do is just to pull her close and latch her and we both continue sleeping :x The hb would be the happiest bcos he dont have to wake up AT ALL =_= That's ok, i shall sacrifice for the greater good :P Best of all, no need to wash milk bottles

By now, i started alternating between pumping (when she allows me to) in the day time but at night it's always direct latching. But it got to a point where she can ONLY sleep at night after i had latched her. uh oh...problem. One night, we were in the sitting room watching tv and she asked to be fed, but every time i latched her on she will release again after few seconds and started crying again. This went on a few times until the hb suggested maybe she wanted me to feed her in bed. So i brought her to bed and she fell asleep shortly :P

And that is how i started to direct latch her again. In fact, now i barely pump when i m with her. The only time i pumped is when im at the office. Last weekend, from friday till monday, i only pumped once. The rest of the time it was DL all the way. On saturday while at the mall, i even DL her in the nursing room. That is an all time record for me! Me! the person who is like "meh" towards breastfeeding, i am nursing my baby in a mall!

And because of all that DL, my supply slowly climbed back up again :)

Now she's an addict, i can't be carrying her if shes hungry or cranky or sleepy and she can't sleep without me at night. For now, i will just enjoy the undisturbed sleep and worry about how to wean her few months down the road :P

Just before i started work, again i had my "breakdown" with breastfeeding. How to make time to pump during office hours??? To me, i feel it is unreasonable to take time off to pump. I said ok i will stop breastfeeding in the 2nd mth! On my first day back at work, i tried to work out a schedule with the existing nursing mums on who gets to use the nursing room at what time and managed to work it out with my boss and it seems to work for 2 weeks now. I can tell you, it is not easy to be working and pumping on schedule. There are meetings and work commitments.

Now i understand why nursing mothers kept saying breastfeeding is NOT easy. I am a non-believer turned believer.

What i would have done differently the next round (if any!): DL the whole way in the first month!

Wormy's birth story (part 3-the real deal)

After the epidural, it's like a fog has been cleared. I can talk and Breathe thru the contraction. Although the midwife insisted I still feel some pain so that I will know when to push. But she did "warn" me that some babies are not compatible with epidural, if it causes some harm to the baby the epidural will have to be stopped. I cannot survive the next few hours without it! I told the hb to talk to baby so that she can pull thru bcos I cannot not have epidural. Lol. And hb talked to the baby. I wonder whether she was able to hear him at that time or not.

All the while baby's heartbeat was being monitored, and as luck would have it..baby's heartbeat was slowing down at every contraction due to cord compression. The midwife was very concerned and so were we! she kept coming to tell me to pray! pray that you will be fully dilated very soon!

I remember telling her, but can I be fully dilated that soon? She told me "miracles can happen. You never know" she's so sweet :)

Lo and behold, by 11am I was Already 10cm dilated and it is now Time to push! She started teaching me how to push but I was real sucky in that. lol. First is I couldn't feel much contraction bcos of the epidural and also I was a lousy pusher. She had to put a hand on my tummy so she could tell me when to push. It is hard because i am not sure how much energy i put in. I felt like i am already trying my best, but maybe i didnt because there is not much feeling "down there" :/ After almost an hour of pushing, she said she needs to call my obgyn up and see what he advises. I was still pushing when the obgyn came up and I was unaware that he was already there. Until I suddenly heard him calling my name. "PinkCotton! You can do it!!!". Lol that was real motivational although I still had to resort to vacuum extraction in the end. Until now, it has become a "household saying". For e.g. if baby is struggling to finish her milk, we will tell her "wormy!!u can do it!" ok..lets not digress...

I pushed and pushed until I let wind out and sounded like a cow (luckily no shit came out). Oh before the obgyn came, the midwife actually put in a hand and tried to turn baby's head so it's easier for her to come out :O 

By then the head is already out so my doctor told me he is going to use vacuum extraction and there is only a limited number of time i can push with the vacuum attached. He mentioned i only have 5 tries, after that....he paused (dramatic pause), we will have to use "another method". Until now, i dont know whether he said that to "motivate" me or it's bcos too many tries with the vacuum will harm the baby's head. So he attached the vacuum on baby's head and I pushed 2 times and baby was out! At that point, I had my eyes closed so I was caught in surprise when suddenly there was a warm baby with her arms flailing around and her body warm and sticky on my chest. That was my first impression of my daughter :) words failed to express what I felt at that point of time, I was in a whirlwind of emotions and I just burst into tears at that moment. Wormy decided to open her mouth and gave a very loud cry. And I cried together with her. lol. The stupid hb just had to video the whole thing instead of just taking photos so the video had me crying in it -_-"

When I re-watched the video again, I saw my doctor standing at the side and kept smiling at me. Don't know whether he's so happy he just delivered a baby or laughing at me crying. After that, even until now the hb still asks why did i cry. I am still unable to explain why. I was touched and overwhelmed all at the same time. After months of anticipation and interaction with this little being inside of me, I can finally meet this little human being which I grew inside my womb. Heck, towards the end of my pregnancy i was even doubting it is actually a baby punching me from the inside. LOL.

    Baby's first photo

For days after the birth, I kept trying to figure out how on earth did I fit her inside my tummy...doesnt seem to be enough space to fit a 3kg baby.

After the delivery, the nurses left baby with the both of us for some bonding time. The midwife helped me to get baby to suckle and she left us. Wormy was really alert and had already opened her eyes wide and kept looking at us. After almost an hour of delivery, I asked the hb what time was she born? He said he didnt know and told me maybe 11am (actual time was 12pm) The  thing is , i did not have my glasses on throughout the whole process and i couldn't see the time. He, who had glasses on didnt even know what time it was =_=" Then i realized, we have not informed our family.

Asked him whether he had already told them?? He said no. So that is how my family and friends only found out I had already delivered. Almost 2 hours AFTER the birth. LOL. Kept asking him to bring me my phone when i was in labor, he said no, it will interfere with the machines...wtf this guy.LOL!

In fact, when i was halfway pushing a baby out of me, he walked to me and said to me matter-of-factly..."I think you are pushing the wrong way, you should push like this..". I cannot for the hell of me remember how he taught me to push. But i am really surprised with myself that i didnt just give him a punch in the face for saying that. In fact, i even replied him calmly, "noo...the midwife asked me to push like this.."

People used to say, being in labor brings out the WORST in you, i was VERY surprisingly calm throughout the whole process. I didnt even raise my voice at him or lose my patience. I guess the calmness is the WORST side of me. wahahaha!

By the time i had my phone, the notification page was full of missed calls, messages, whatsapp messages. HUNDREDS of unread messages in my whatsapp. Some people even thought i had died :x my bad, the last update from me was 12am. I fell off the grid after that. lol. But it sure felt good to have my phone in my hands again #geek