Chinese New Year Visiting Guidelines

In view of the upcoming Chinese New Year celebrations, i think it is only right that i dedicate an entry to the festival.

I was having lunch with Red Sponge, Bells Ring and Wen just now when we talked about Chinese New Year. They were asking whether or not we go visiting and other what-nots.

Then it hit me, that people who go visiting usually say the same old crap year in , year out. Honestly, they do!

So, i will be making a list of all those typical questions/topics our parents talk about when they go visiting or when there are visitors in the house. You may like to print out the list and check them off one by one when there are visitors at your parents' house this year..LOL...

-So, how many houses have you visited this year?

-Is this the first house for the day?

-Which of these kueh/biscuits did u make?

-Did you burn any firecrackers/fireworks this year? (that is, if you've managed to get hold of some ILLEGAL firecrackers...)

-Did ah gau/ah du (son/daughter) come back this year?

-What is your son/daughter doing now?

-Is your son/daughter married yet?????

-Wahh!!! your son/daughter very big liaw ho??? Last time he/she was small2 nya... (surprisingly, there would be this visitor who said the same thing every year he/she sees you)

-Aiyoh!!!dont give him ang pow la...hes so big already!!..aiyo!! quick say thank you to auntie/uncle (only applicable when owner of the house tries to give son/daughter ang pows which will almost always ensue with a mild struggle between the 2 parent trying to push the ang pow to and fro...)

-Aiya! Never mind la...let him/her play la...children are like that one lah. (applicable when son/daughter of guest breaks something in the house, or dirties your mom's spent-4-hours-vacuumed carpet. Usually, guest of the house would be secretly cursing the children of their guests when this happens...hahaha)

-Haiyah! This ah girl/ah boy always like that lah...didnt help me refill this biscuit (mum tries to push the blame of having served guests with empty containers to her son/daughter)

-Most commonly, visitors and guests alike would gossip about old friends... “HA?! That Ah Seng got woman outside ah????Aiyoo..so pity the wife ho???”
Wahhh! Your house is very pretty oh!!!.. (fake compliments)

-Wahhh!! Every year i come you are always this young one! (hypocritical statements)

-AH! eat eat! Dont be shy! I didnt prepare anything much la this year (even tho, there's around 20-30 types of cakes and biscuits being served.)

-Basically, anything that is embarassing to house owner will be pushed to owner's son/daughter. e.g. AIYO!!! this ah girl ah!...always mess up my cushion when watching TV! Haiyo..!paiseh paiseh...lai lai..sit lah.! (note:applicable when house owner was the one sleeping cross legged while watching tv on the cushion before guests turn up)

-Then...there's always the hau lien (show off) talk. “Ah..my ah lian cannot come back this CNY la. You know la, she is studying in ENGLAND boh...UNIVERSITY OF CAMBRIDGE ah you know? Actually she ngei2 wanted to come back one, but I said no need lah..”

-And lastly, There's the comparing number of grandsons/granddaughters talk.

Hmmm...seems that eighteen is the best i could come up with ... for now. With these surefire guidelines on CNY VISITING, visiting would be oh such a breeze! Enjoy! ;)